I finished Mass Effect 3, what, 2 weeks ago? At least. And yes, there is no strategy guide review to speak of as of yet. It is coming, I swear, I’m just having motivation issues in writing it. There’s nothing wrong with the guide at all, so please don’t think that. The problem lies with me, in that I’m so sick of discussing Mass Effect 3 and anything related to it.

I honestly thought I would never utter those words. Me, sick of discussing anything Mass Effect? That has to be impossible, right? Sadly, it’s true, and it started way back before I even finished the game.

As I’m sure you’re all well aware, less than a week after the game’s release, the Internet was on fire with those who hated the ME3 ending. Not only did they hate it, but they were demanding that BioWare give them a new ending. I’m all for criticizing media–obviously–but to demand a new ending? Really? No one has the right to demand a new ending. If we do, then I want a new ending to those Twilight books as well as those hours of my life back. In response to the Retake Mass Effect movement (was it really yours in the first place?), I created a support group for BioWare’s ME3 ending. It wasn’t about liking the ending; it was about respecting BioWare and their decisions on how to end their story, because let’s face it: it is their story.

As you can imagine, it wasn’t long before I became a complete babysitter for the group, stopping fights, banning trolls, and defending myself when I was called a complete idiot, accused of being in BioWare’s pocket, and told I wasn’t a real a fan. Right after I finished the game–and for the record, I loved the ending–I wrote my review for Gaming Angels and then took a nap for 3 hours so I could decompress everything Mass Effect.

And then I did two ME3 spoiler casts. And then I was asked to be on two others (of which I turned down). And then some of my other friends wanted to discuss the endings. And then my non-ME gamer friends were calling me, asking me what the hell was going on.

So you can see…I’m just really, really tired of talking about it.

It’s not a good excuse I know, and I owe Prima Games a huge apology for procrastinating. My goal is to write it this week. I already have the outline laid out for it, I have the scans completed, and I know what I’m going to say. I just need the power to turn off my ME3 apathy for an hour.

Thank you all for your patience.

Last week I did go on a paradox-ending spree with Final Fantasy XIII-2 during my lunch breaks, and I have gotten all of them except for the secret ending after the final boss. To get that, you need all 160 fragments first, and even though I only have 20 to go, I just don’t see that happening. I could see myself getting 159 of the fragments, but I’m fairly certain I will never get the fragment for adding every possibly monster into my datalog. As I’ve said before, it’s because I don’t really have that time to do so and because I don’t care. It’s mostly because I don’t care. There are a couple of other gold trophies I’d like to try to get, but if they don’t happen, they don’t. I shall survive.

So once I was done with that (last Tuesday), I started to use LEGO Harry Potter during lunch breaks. It’s really the best game for lunch, as each little sequence takes me about 30 minutes or less, depending on how many collectibles I’m able to get with just the story abilities. For the first time, I believe a platinum trophy is within my grasp. Okay, that’s not true. I could get a platinum in inFamous 2 or Uncharted 3 if I really wanted to, but eh, I’ve spent so much time with those games, I don’t want to spend any more just to try to get so many kills with this weapon or that. But with LEGO games, I usually 100% them anyway, so I should be able to do so for LEGO Harry Potter 1-4 and LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean. Then I can consider getting the next LEGO Harry Potter game to fill in the next round of lunches.

Sadly, this past week kept me so busy at night that I was not able to work on any games I’m working on for guide reviews. Unacceptable, I quite agree. And I do need to get a move on, as The Witcher 2 releases for Xbox 360 in a couple of weeks. I will finish that game before Ross finishes his PC version; that’s a sports promise.

I admit that I have a tendency to be a little afraid of trying a new game. If I have a finished game that has additional opportunities for gameplay, such as extra endings, Achievements/Trophies I could get, co-op multiplayer, or additional sidequests, I’m far more likely to tinker around with that than I am to pick up something new in my stack of shame.

Case in point, I played a lot of Final Fantasy XIII-2 this past week. I wanted to see all of the Paradox Endings, and since most were unattainable until after you finish, I had plenty of other things to do to avoid playing something else. To help delay my decision, I asked for people to vote on what I play next. I gave a whole week for voting so I could continue avoiding what I needed to pay attention to next. During that time, I went after a few Trophies and unlocked all of the Paradox Endings (except for the secret ending to the game, because I have to get all 160 Fragments first, which I can guarantee will not happen). There are a few other trophies I want as well, so you can take a guess as to what I’ll keep doing during my lunch hour until I’ve run out of excuses.

In addition, I picked up Mass Effect 2 once again. I started a new Shepard a few weeks ago, before Mass Effect 3 released, just so I could see the differences in the game if you don’t import a Shepard. I also wanted a playthrough where I didn’t focus on being a Paragon or a Renegade. I will say one thing…it is more fun when you don’t care. On the other hand, I didn’t get the full satisfaction of what I wanted with this new Shepard. Get ready for something really girly in 3…2…1…

I assumed that by not importing a Shepard into ME2 and by selecting a female Shepard, it would mean that the Shepard the game creates is one who romanced Kaidan in the first game. They made so many other decisions on behalf of this non-import so it’s not completely off-base to assume they made a romance decision as well. I was wrong. When I met Kaidan at Horizon, he greeted me with a handshake, not a hug. He didn’t say that Shepard was someone he loved. Shepard also did not get a breakup email after the meeting. So much for my plan for creating a playthrough where Shepard stayed loyal to Kaidan. I guess if I want that, I’ll have to replay my original Shepard in ME2 or play another round of ME1. Either way, it looks like I’ll have many more Mass Effect playthroughs in my future to annoy my husband, friends, and readers with. I’d apologize in advance, but I’m not that sorry.

But all that said, it really is time for me to get some reviews out. I have guides to get to, and there is no time like the present to catch up on games. Kingdoms of Amalur won the voting and subsequent drawing, so I will be focusing on that this week (outside of lunch hour) and I’ve gotten into an Assassin’s Creed Revelations buddy-pact with my friend Ross. Can’t hide behind my blanket of fear much longer. It’s time to forge ahead to something new.

Well sports fans…I did finish Mass Effect 3 over the weekend. I lost a lot of sleep to do so, and I regret absolutely nothing. I’m not going to cover my thoughts on the game here or my thoughts on the endings controversy just yet. My review has been submitted to Gaming Angels, so I’m going to wait on that final approval before I utter anything. However, you can probably guess how I feel. And I’ll say that I’m already planning at least 2-3 more playthroughs. That should speak volumes.

ANYWAY.

After playing a 40-hour game in two weeks, which may be a new record for me, I’m really, really tired. Physically tired. Like I don’t want to think tired. So I’m asking all of you to think for me. I have some guides that I must get to sooner or later, due to either receiving review copies or due to upcoming sequels releasing this year. So look to the right column and please tell me which guide/game I should review next. There isn’t a huge amount of variety in terms of genre, but hey, that’s where I’m at. No write-in votes are accepted, but if you see something from my Stack of Shame that I should pay more attention to, feel free to tell me in the comments below.

So while you all are voting, I’m going to take this week to play some Vita games and work on the Paradox Endings for FFXIII-2. I have to trophy hunt as much as I can for now to 1) feel like I’ve gotten something good from this game and 2) to get it done before I have to loan out the game to a friend.

Oh yeah, get ready for a really girly entry this week about my romance situation in Mass Effect 3. If you don’t want any paramour spoilers for your FemShep, then go on ahead and leave now. Or if you hate girly topics, feel free to come back tomorrow when I write about how much I hated Final Fantasy XIII-2. That will happen, I promise.

Still here? Okay, let’s get down to the mushy stuff.

I actually have 3 different Shepards because I’m that much of a nut for the game. But for my first playthrough of Mass Effect 3, I’m using my original Shepard, a woman Paragon. In the first game, I romanced Kaidan, mainly because I couldn’t romance Garrus. However, after talking to Kaidan, I really, really started to like his character. When I saw him on Horizon in ME2, I was so excited. And then he had to break my heart. No really, he did. I was far more devastated about what he said to Shepard on Horizon and in email than Shepard was. He yelled at Shepard for not letting him know she was alive. Then he called her a complete betrayal for what they worked toward since she’s with Cerberus. I wanted Shepard to yell back so badly, “I WAS DEAD! I COULDN’T FUCKING CALL!”

And then, if that wasn’t enough, he has to send the following email, effectively breaking up with her:

Shepard,

I’m sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I’d finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don’t know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me… maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can’t just put that aside.

But please be careful. I’ve watched too many people close to me die — on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you again. If you’re still the woman I remember I know you’ll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little… maybe… I don’t know. Just take care.

–Kaidan

That said to me that Kaidan was never coming back. Like I said, it upset me far more than it upset Shepard. I know it’s sad, but I’m so incredibly invested in these characters and their relationships with Shepard and with one another.

I honestly had no interest in romancing anyone in ME2 after that. When the romance options opened up, I wasn’t interested until it appeared I could romance Garrus. Here’s someone I always liked, and he has remained completely loyal to Shepard, despite the Cerberus situation. He’s also a character that I always take with me on every mission, even from back in the first game. Garrus was so cute and awkward during the whole courtship it was hard not to really like him.

So then ME3. Kaidan appears in the beginning. I’m instantly, “Aw, shit.” He keeps looking back at Shepard, she keeps looking at him, ugh this was going to be hard. Of course, Kaidan being Kaidan, he confronted Shepard right away about being the same person after Cerberus. Then of course, he nearly gets killed and Shepard has to go see him in the hospital. When he asks about Garrus, I honestly had no idea what to say. I chose the Paragon answer, and ended up apologizing. WTF. I have nothing to feel sorry about. When she apologized for hurting Kaidan, I got behind that. He held her hand and said he was sorry about Horizon, so of course I’m thinking, huh, maybe.

Of course, seeing Garrus again changed all that. He didn’t make it easy either, with all the hand holding when he first saw Shepard and saying how he couldn’t bear to lose her. I instantly felt horrible that I was stringing both of these guys along. I’ve never been in that situation in real life–so dateless for so long in high school and college–so I really didn’t know what to do except the chickenshit method: put them both off until the last possible minute.

Then last night…

I met with Kaidan for dinner at the Citadel, and he instantly goes into the talk. Was definitely not ready for that. I wanted to say, “Um, can we talk about this after we save the world? We’re kind of busy right now.” But then, he said he understood why I cheated.

Hold the phone. Understood why I cheated? CHEATED? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WE WERE ON A BREAK! No, wait, scratch that. We weren’t on a break; we were broken up. You can’t call me a betrayal, tell me you’re moving on in an email, and then not expect me to do the same. What kind of double standard is this shit?

You know what? Forget it, and forget Kaidan. I instantly ended it. I’d rather keep Shepard with the one character who stood by her in both previous games. Loyalty is very important to me, and I was rankled to the core that Kaidan would dare say that my Shepard was not loyal to him and cheated on him.

So yes, I’ve chosen Garrus once again. Know what really made me feel good about my decision? (Aside from the fact that he has hilarious dialogue with other Normandy members) when he decided to “have the talk,” he didn’t accuse Shepard of anything. He said, “I know you’ve needed some time to sort out us, and I wanted to give you that time.” So yeah, he knew Shepard was talking to Kaidan and was willing to let that play out. He didn’t accuse Shepard of two-timing or leading anyone on (even though I admit I was making her do just that), which just proves he’s such an incredible character.

Now if Kaidan hadn’t been such an ass, I don’t know what I would have decided. That probably makes me horrible, but eh, okay. Actually, I probably would have chosen one, and then played again with the same import to choose another. At least in video games, I can eat my cake and have it too.

Cheated. Still seething over that.