I have admitted on more than one occasion that I have zero patience in games (well, with anything, really), hence why I got into strategy guides in the first place. While this may lead many people to assume that I play games on the easiest difficulty setting, this really isn’t true.

For new games or games that I’m reviewing strategy guides, I mostly play them on Normal. With strategy guide reviews, I really, really try to play the games on Normal due to the fact this is the difficulty setting the guides are typically written for. On an Easy setting, you rarely need a strategy guide to help you get through a boss fight because the player is usually quite powerful whereas the boss is rather weak. Not saying that you never need one, but whenever I play a game on Easy, I’ve typically found the bosses to be overly easy (shocker, right?).

The one exception I have with reviewing a strategy guide on Easy is with stealth-based games. I suck at these games so hard, I need the AI to be as dumb as possible, and yes, I still need the strategy guide to help me find the best stealth routes even with this setting. I admit that’s pathetic, and I don’t care.

Now, when I’m playing through my backlog or I’m replaying a game (a/k/a Mass Effect), the game is almost always turned down to Easy. The reason why is simple: I need to burn through this game as quickly as possible, and that means I can’t waste my time dying. Of course, there is the occasional exception, like right now, I’m playing Halo 3: ODST on Normal, and that’s because any lower of a setting, I won’t get Achievements. It’s a stupid reason, but I’d probably play it on Normal anyway because I’m so fluent in how to play Halo games. Another exception is the Gears of War games, as I often replay these with friends, so we play on Insanity for some unknown reason.

Do I maybe lose something by burning through a game? Maybe, but just because I burn through a game on Easy doesn’t mean I ignore all side quests. Please, it’s me! I’m all about the side quests!

I had two goals before we moved last week: finish Halo 3 ODST and write my review of the BioShock Infinite strategy guide. Neither was accomplished due to the simple fact that sometimes, real life doesn’t allow you to complete your goals. I had to agree to pack down the gaming room earlier than planned, and I’m so glad I did, otherwise the day before we closed would have been ten times more chaotic than it needed to be. So while I only have about three missions left in this Halo game, I had to let it go for the sake of sanity.

I put all of the blame on not writing about the strategy guide for BioShock Infinite solely on work crises. Sometimes these happen, and the fact that I had a far shorter work week only made it worse. I feel really guilty about this one, especially since I finished the game nearly two weeks ago, and the only way I’ll be able to assuage this guilt is to write the damn article.

But hey, we successfully moved, and my office has been set up so I can yammer at all of you. Sure, the gaming systems are still in the boxes, so it’s not 100% perfect and ideal, but we’ll get there soon. I may beg to make the gaming systems a priority tonight or tomorrow. This stack of shame ain’t gonna play itself!

I finished BioShock Infinite last week, and my thoughts on the game and the strategy guide will be coming this week, hopefully before we pack down my desk since the big move is on Friday. With its completion, I officially have no strategy guides on my reviewing schedule (but my staff does, hehehehe) until June, so I can finally work on some back log! Or I can start on a game I bought shortly after PAX East, Saints Row the Third, which is what I opted.

The game is everything I hoped it would be from listening to my friends rave about it and from seeing footage of Saints Row IV at PAX East. That said, I was not aware, when I should have been, as to how much driving was important to the game. Since it is about gang warfare, I should have realized that they would be driving from place to place, stealing cars, running from the cops in cars, etc. I am an unbelievably terrible driver in games. There is a reason why I avoid racing games, and that’s exactly why. Even Burnout, which thrives on you being a bad driver, was too much for me. I was initially pleased that SR3 was cool with bad driving. You get Challenge points for running over people, driving into oncoming traffic, and swiping other cars. Additionally, the other drivers seemed to be as bad as I was. I figured I could handle it, even with all of the driving.

However, I wasn’t prepared for a story mission that was a timed mini-game of driving. I played it four or five times and had the exact same dismal result with zero improvement. After playing the game for nearly 10 hours, I still never really got the hang of the driving mechanics and physics. I partly blame the camera, but most of the blame falls on me for just flat out not being comfortable with driving in games. So when I reached Zimos’ first story mission that requires you to pick up four hookers, save them from their opposing gang pimps, and drive back to Zimos’ house within a time limit, I knew I was screwed. Try as I might, I cannot fight off shooting gangsters and make two trips to pick up hookers within the time limit, even on the Easy difficulty setting. And of course, this is not an optional mission; I’m completely stuck until I get through it.

I don’t get why there is a time limit. There wasn’t a time limit when I had to drive around with a tiger in the front seat and make him happy, and that I would think would have a more pressing need for a time limit before the tiger eats you. I hate time limits on mini-games or sequences anyway, so it just added to my overall disappointment.

And yes, I am greatly disappointed that I most likely won’t be finishing SR3. Maybe if I can get someone to come over and finish the mini-game for me, I’ll be able to continue playing. This is where I really wish I lived near more gaming friends.

After I sadly removed the disc, I looked back at my stack of shame that I didn’t pack and decided it was time to go back to Halo 3: ODST. I didn’t like playing the game originally, but I really think it was because I played Halo 2, Halo 3, and then Halo 3: ODST back to back. That was a little overkill, even for this Halo fan, and it was hard to go from a Spartan, wearing MJOLNIR armor to a Orbital Drop Shock Trooper marine, who has had no genetic enhancements and does not wear armor as close to as awesome as the MJOLNIR armor. Since I’ve taken a nearly year-long break, everything that bothered me about it before no longer bothers me.

Once I’m done with this one, maybe I’ll stop playing shooters for a little while and focus on some other genres in my stack of shame, games like Dragon Age: Origins and Skyrim.