Here it is, Spring Break, and no kids in sight thanks to the in-laws. Look at all this time I have to work on my stack of shame! I just finished one old game (Dragon Age Inquisition), so now it’s time to finish a newer game, such as Assassin’s Creed Origins or Wolfenstein II. In fact, with zero kids around, the latter may be the best to tackle.

But what am I doing instead? Playing Dragon Age Inquisition. Again. Rolled a new character and everything. This time I’m a male elf mage who has his eyes set on Dorian.

I still miss Alistair and my Hero of Ferelden.

I have problems. Deep problems. And yet I can’t stop myself. I don’t want to stop, while we’re at it. The last time I had such a deep connection with a game was—get ready for it—Mass Effect. Yet here I am with another BioWare title, obsessed to almost unhealthy proportions.

What strikes me the most about this go around is that this is the first time I’ve played any Dragon Age title as a different race. It’s the first time I’ve ever played as a mage as well. I’m curious how it differs with Dragon Age Origins, but in Inquisition, your race and even class changes A LOT. Now that I’m an elf, Solas is far friendlier to me. As a mage, I’m treated differently. As a Dalish elf, I’m treated even more differently. Different dialogue options open up. It’s simply amazing how much work BioWare put into this narrative. That’s one big difference between DA and ME; in ME your only choice was gender. There’s a big reason why you couldn’t choose a different race, but regardless of gender, people treated you the same. That is, unless you developed your Paragon or Renegade reputation to an extreme. If you went around punching reporters in the first game, reporters are rather skittish around you in the forthcoming games.

In DAI, however, I’m often mistaken for a servant. Non-mages are really wary of me. It takes longer to gain the trust of non-mages, whereas mages have no problems loving me immediately. As I said before, Solas really opens up far more than he ever did with my human rogue. Even Varric feels a bit more affection toward you because you aren’t a human. It’s all so very surreal, and it’s an amazing lesson in casual racism. While nobody cares what color your skin is, the same can’t be said for those with pointy ears or vertical challenges. This is part of why I really want to see this second playthrough through.

I am burning through this far more quickly than the first time, however. I’ve done all the side quests and collections the first time. I’m not doing this random fetch quest that doesn’t net me anything of real value. Treasure maps? Meh. Walking around a statue in a very specific way three times to summon a ghost? Forget it. Although I am still doing the astrariums, because dang those are super fun.

That’s right, I finally sealed the deal in Dragon Age Inquisition. I honestly tried to put it off as long as possible. I looked to complete all of my collections. I searched for new sidequests. Even kept pushing the envelope with the war table operations. I had personal quests I could do for Iron Bull and Sera, but I wasn’t that desperate. I’m not sure why I bothered recruiting them at all.

When I couldn’t stall any longer, I begrudgingly set out to complete the last few story missions. Thank you, mutant ability to avoid all spoilers, because I have no idea how I avoided such huge reveals for the last four years. I didn’t expect any of the twists at the end, especially the final reveal. Fairly certain my mouth stayed dropped open for quite some time after that. And then I stayed up a few hours later going over everything.

But before that, I bawled like a baby.

When my Inquisitor climbed the courtyard stairs at Skyhold with everyone clapping below, and her War Council bowed to her, I lost it. Yes, the story was incredible and it kept me thinking (and still thinking) for hours afterward. But that’s not why the tears flowed. I was devastated that the game was over. No more putting it off. No more restarting. It’s no longer there waiting for me with fresh gameplay. No learning big reveals for the first time.

I usually feel relieved when I finish a game or elation that it’s over. With long RPGs, I always get to a point when I’m done with the grind and I’m ready for it to be over. I didn’t have that this time. At all. I was never tired of it. I didn’t want it to end.

Thank God for DLC, right? I finished Jaws of Hakkon last night, and I hope to finally wrap up Descent this week. I’ll most likely put off Trespasser as long as possible, since that is THE very end. That is, it is unless I start a new game, which I have been considering. With everything I learned, I think it would be nice to try playing as an elf. Perhaps an elf who really doesn’t care about much else aside from elves and mages. Oh and Dorian. Must romance Dorian. I can’t romance Cullen again because he’s with my main Inquisitor, and it shall stay that way.

So there’s one game from the past done. And it was loooong past. So now I need to pick an unfinished game that released a little sooner, probably in 2017. I’m leaning toward either Wolfenstein II or Assassin’s Creed Origins. I think the shooter would be shorter, but the first game was fairly long for a shooter. I have no idea what other game from the past I’ll play after that, though. I’m kind of scared of really looking into my backlog. I see Dragon Quest Builders, Dragon Quest Heroes (the first one), Final Fantasy XV, Star Ocean: Integrity and Faithlessness, and World of Final Fantasy at a first glance. Oh, wait, I forgot about The Last Guardian and Witcher 3. And then there’s Wind Waker HD and Twilight Princess on the Wii U. I keep forgetting I own one.

I don’t have anything short on the table pre-2017, do I? So happy there’s nothing really releasing in 2018 that has my interest. Yet.