I admit that I have a tendency to be a little afraid of trying a new game. If I have a finished game that has additional opportunities for gameplay, such as extra endings, Achievements/Trophies I could get, co-op multiplayer, or additional sidequests, I’m far more likely to tinker around with that than I am to pick up something new in my stack of shame.

Case in point, I played a lot of Final Fantasy XIII-2 this past week. I wanted to see all of the Paradox Endings, and since most were unattainable until after you finish, I had plenty of other things to do to avoid playing something else. To help delay my decision, I asked for people to vote on what I play next. I gave a whole week for voting so I could continue avoiding what I needed to pay attention to next. During that time, I went after a few Trophies and unlocked all of the Paradox Endings (except for the secret ending to the game, because I have to get all 160 Fragments first, which I can guarantee will not happen). There are a few other trophies I want as well, so you can take a guess as to what I’ll keep doing during my lunch hour until I’ve run out of excuses.

In addition, I picked up Mass Effect 2 once again. I started a new Shepard a few weeks ago, before Mass Effect 3 released, just so I could see the differences in the game if you don’t import a Shepard. I also wanted a playthrough where I didn’t focus on being a Paragon or a Renegade. I will say one thing…it is more fun when you don’t care. On the other hand, I didn’t get the full satisfaction of what I wanted with this new Shepard. Get ready for something really girly in 3…2…1…

I assumed that by not importing a Shepard into ME2 and by selecting a female Shepard, it would mean that the Shepard the game creates is one who romanced Kaidan in the first game. They made so many other decisions on behalf of this non-import so it’s not completely off-base to assume they made a romance decision as well. I was wrong. When I met Kaidan at Horizon, he greeted me with a handshake, not a hug. He didn’t say that Shepard was someone he loved. Shepard also did not get a breakup email after the meeting. So much for my plan for creating a playthrough where Shepard stayed loyal to Kaidan. I guess if I want that, I’ll have to replay my original Shepard in ME2 or play another round of ME1. Either way, it looks like I’ll have many more Mass Effect playthroughs in my future to annoy my husband, friends, and readers with. I’d apologize in advance, but I’m not that sorry.

But all that said, it really is time for me to get some reviews out. I have guides to get to, and there is no time like the present to catch up on games. Kingdoms of Amalur won the voting and subsequent drawing, so I will be focusing on that this week (outside of lunch hour) and I’ve gotten into an Assassin’s Creed Revelations buddy-pact with my friend Ross. Can’t hide behind my blanket of fear much longer. It’s time to forge ahead to something new.

Well sports fans…I did finish Mass Effect 3 over the weekend. I lost a lot of sleep to do so, and I regret absolutely nothing. I’m not going to cover my thoughts on the game here or my thoughts on the endings controversy just yet. My review has been submitted to Gaming Angels, so I’m going to wait on that final approval before I utter anything. However, you can probably guess how I feel. And I’ll say that I’m already planning at least 2-3 more playthroughs. That should speak volumes.

ANYWAY.

After playing a 40-hour game in two weeks, which may be a new record for me, I’m really, really tired. Physically tired. Like I don’t want to think tired. So I’m asking all of you to think for me. I have some guides that I must get to sooner or later, due to either receiving review copies or due to upcoming sequels releasing this year. So look to the right column and please tell me which guide/game I should review next. There isn’t a huge amount of variety in terms of genre, but hey, that’s where I’m at. No write-in votes are accepted, but if you see something from my Stack of Shame that I should pay more attention to, feel free to tell me in the comments below.

So while you all are voting, I’m going to take this week to play some Vita games and work on the Paradox Endings for FFXIII-2. I have to trophy hunt as much as I can for now to 1) feel like I’ve gotten something good from this game and 2) to get it done before I have to loan out the game to a friend.

Oh yeah, get ready for a really girly entry this week about my romance situation in Mass Effect 3. If you don’t want any paramour spoilers for your FemShep, then go on ahead and leave now. Or if you hate girly topics, feel free to come back tomorrow when I write about how much I hated Final Fantasy XIII-2. That will happen, I promise.

Still here? Okay, let’s get down to the mushy stuff.

I actually have 3 different Shepards because I’m that much of a nut for the game. But for my first playthrough of Mass Effect 3, I’m using my original Shepard, a woman Paragon. In the first game, I romanced Kaidan, mainly because I couldn’t romance Garrus. However, after talking to Kaidan, I really, really started to like his character. When I saw him on Horizon in ME2, I was so excited. And then he had to break my heart. No really, he did. I was far more devastated about what he said to Shepard on Horizon and in email than Shepard was. He yelled at Shepard for not letting him know she was alive. Then he called her a complete betrayal for what they worked toward since she’s with Cerberus. I wanted Shepard to yell back so badly, “I WAS DEAD! I COULDN’T FUCKING CALL!”

And then, if that wasn’t enough, he has to send the following email, effectively breaking up with her:

Shepard,

I’m sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I’d finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don’t know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me… maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can’t just put that aside.

But please be careful. I’ve watched too many people close to me die — on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you again. If you’re still the woman I remember I know you’ll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little… maybe… I don’t know. Just take care.

–Kaidan

That said to me that Kaidan was never coming back. Like I said, it upset me far more than it upset Shepard. I know it’s sad, but I’m so incredibly invested in these characters and their relationships with Shepard and with one another.

I honestly had no interest in romancing anyone in ME2 after that. When the romance options opened up, I wasn’t interested until it appeared I could romance Garrus. Here’s someone I always liked, and he has remained completely loyal to Shepard, despite the Cerberus situation. He’s also a character that I always take with me on every mission, even from back in the first game. Garrus was so cute and awkward during the whole courtship it was hard not to really like him.

So then ME3. Kaidan appears in the beginning. I’m instantly, “Aw, shit.” He keeps looking back at Shepard, she keeps looking at him, ugh this was going to be hard. Of course, Kaidan being Kaidan, he confronted Shepard right away about being the same person after Cerberus. Then of course, he nearly gets killed and Shepard has to go see him in the hospital. When he asks about Garrus, I honestly had no idea what to say. I chose the Paragon answer, and ended up apologizing. WTF. I have nothing to feel sorry about. When she apologized for hurting Kaidan, I got behind that. He held her hand and said he was sorry about Horizon, so of course I’m thinking, huh, maybe.

Of course, seeing Garrus again changed all that. He didn’t make it easy either, with all the hand holding when he first saw Shepard and saying how he couldn’t bear to lose her. I instantly felt horrible that I was stringing both of these guys along. I’ve never been in that situation in real life–so dateless for so long in high school and college–so I really didn’t know what to do except the chickenshit method: put them both off until the last possible minute.

Then last night…

I met with Kaidan for dinner at the Citadel, and he instantly goes into the talk. Was definitely not ready for that. I wanted to say, “Um, can we talk about this after we save the world? We’re kind of busy right now.” But then, he said he understood why I cheated.

Hold the phone. Understood why I cheated? CHEATED? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WE WERE ON A BREAK! No, wait, scratch that. We weren’t on a break; we were broken up. You can’t call me a betrayal, tell me you’re moving on in an email, and then not expect me to do the same. What kind of double standard is this shit?

You know what? Forget it, and forget Kaidan. I instantly ended it. I’d rather keep Shepard with the one character who stood by her in both previous games. Loyalty is very important to me, and I was rankled to the core that Kaidan would dare say that my Shepard was not loyal to him and cheated on him.

So yes, I’ve chosen Garrus once again. Know what really made me feel good about my decision? (Aside from the fact that he has hilarious dialogue with other Normandy members) when he decided to “have the talk,” he didn’t accuse Shepard of anything. He said, “I know you’ve needed some time to sort out us, and I wanted to give you that time.” So yeah, he knew Shepard was talking to Kaidan and was willing to let that play out. He didn’t accuse Shepard of two-timing or leading anyone on (even though I admit I was making her do just that), which just proves he’s such an incredible character.

Now if Kaidan hadn’t been such an ass, I don’t know what I would have decided. That probably makes me horrible, but eh, okay. Actually, I probably would have chosen one, and then played again with the same import to choose another. At least in video games, I can eat my cake and have it too.

Cheated. Still seething over that.

As I’m sure everyone noticed from my photos on Friday, I have a Vita. If I could do things all over again, I’d never have bought the 3DS until Kingdom Hearts 3DS released and put all that wasted money toward the Vita and all of the super-fun games I have to have NOW. My 3DS has been sitting in its charge cradle for months. I think the last time I took it out was to download my Ambassador program games and then play a bit of the original The Legend of Zelda. And then it dawned on me that I need to stop pushing myself: I really don’t like Zelda games. It’s time to move on.

Nothing has been released since then that has warranted my attention. I’m interested in Paper Mario 3D and of course the new KH when those release, but in the meantime, there is nothing that interests me.

The Vita has the exact opposite effect. There were more than 4 games I wanted at the outset of the Vita launch. I couldn’t get all of them because well, money be a little tight at the moment, but I have two new games (Uncharted: Golden Abyss and Touch My Katamari) and two games downloaded from the PSNn (Super Stardust and Plants vs. Zombies). And then I wanted Dungeon Hunter. And then Resistance and Gravity Crush release int he forthcoming months. I haven’t been this excited about a handheld since the original DS released.

Sadly though, I really haven’t had much time to play with it, other than the occasional PvZ and Stardust run. I’m really trying to get FFXIII-2 DONE this week. Well, my original goal was the weekend. Since I was above the recommended levels for the final bosses, I decided to take a run at it. Yeah, that didn’t end well. I had zero problems until I reached the last boss. All it took was one mistake in shifting to bring on a Game Over. After two hours of trying, I decided to screw it and return to fragment hunting. I know I won’t be getting all 160 fragments, since one fragment quest requires you to find and battle all monsters, rare and otherwise, and there’s no way in hell I’m doing that. But after spending most of Sunday sidequesting, my characters are now 3000 HP higher than they were before, I have different monsters in my pack, and I have better weapons. I may try to max out my characters completely before going into the final bosses, since I’m not that far away from doing so. If I can’t beat them like that, there may be some controller throwing. Fair warning.

My plan for last week was to do nothing but Final Fantasy XIII-2. But then…on Valentine’s Day…I succumbed to two things. One, I played the Mass Effect 3 demo, which totally went against my media blackout for spoilers for the game. I was very pleased to see that there were no spoilers, but I’m not going to get more into it here. If you really want to know what I thought of it, you’ll have to listen to the EvilCast podcast, where Blake and I go nuts over it. It’s not up yet, but check back often this week; it will go up eventually.

Two, I got a text message from a friend–best friend’s husband, actually–asking if I would play Gears of War 3 with him and a couple of friends so we could get Achievements for 4-player and playing on Insanity. Those are two Achievements I definitely want, so I agreed to let Serah and Noel have a night off so I could die a lot whilst killing ugly things.

It became apparently very quickly that I’m not as versed in Gears 3 as everyone else. One guy has played so much, he’s level 70, my friend is level 30, and the other player is in his 20s. I’m at level 13 because I haven’t really touched Gears 3 since I beat it twice in the week it launched. Playing on Insanity with veterans is no way to re-wet your feet. I am definitely the queen of dying the most. At least we’re playing on Arcade mode, so it’s not as bad of a hampering when someone goes explodey…something I did a lot last night while we wrapped up Act II.

I have a lot of fun playing with these guys, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they fired me before we finished playing. Compared to them, I am that bad. I die the most and I have the least number of kills. I haven’t been last place for every chapter, but that’s been my average. I hate seeming like the “stereotypical girl gamer” in that I’m not as good as the boys, but hell, in this case, I’m definitely not as good as the boys. At least they haven’t made fun of me for “playing like a girl” or anything, so it’s my own chip on my shoulder. I hate that damn chip.