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Monday Gaming Diary: We’ve Moved!

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We've MovedI had two goals before we moved last week: finish Halo 3 ODST and write my review of the BioShock Infinite strategy guide. Neither was accomplished due to the simple fact that sometimes, real life doesn’t allow you to complete your goals. I had to agree to pack down the gaming room earlier than planned, and I’m so glad I did, otherwise the day before we closed would have been ten times more chaotic than it needed to be. So while I only have about three missions left in this Halo game, I had to let it go for the sake of sanity.

I put all of the blame on not writing about the strategy guide for BioShock Infinite solely on work crises. Sometimes these happen, and the fact that I had a far shorter work week only made it worse. I feel really guilty about this one, especially since I finished the game nearly two weeks ago, and the only way I’ll be able to assuage this guilt is to write the damn article.

But hey, we successfully moved, and my office has been set up so I can yammer at all of you. Sure, the gaming systems are still in the boxes, so it’s not 100% perfect and ideal, but we’ll get there soon. I may beg to make the gaming systems a priority tonight or tomorrow. This stack of shame ain’t gonna play itself!

Monday Gaming Diary: I’m only good at driving tanks

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Halo ScorpionI finished BioShock Infinite last week, and my thoughts on the game and the strategy guide will be coming this week, hopefully before we pack down my desk since the big move is on Friday. With its completion, I officially have no strategy guides on my reviewing schedule (but my staff does, hehehehe) until June, so I can finally work on some back log! Or I can start on a game I bought shortly after PAX East, Saints Row the Third, which is what I opted.

The game is everything I hoped it would be from listening to my friends rave about it and from seeing footage of Saints Row IV at PAX East. That said, I was not aware, when I should have been, as to how much driving was important to the game. Since it is about gang warfare, I should have realized that they would be driving from place to place, stealing cars, running from the cops in cars, etc. I am an unbelievably terrible driver in games. There is a reason why I avoid racing games, and that’s exactly why. Even Burnout, which thrives on you being a bad driver, was too much for me. I was initially pleased that SR3 was cool with bad driving. You get Challenge points for running over people, driving into oncoming traffic, and swiping other cars. Additionally, the other drivers seemed to be as bad as I was. I figured I could handle it, even with all of the driving.

However, I wasn’t prepared for a story mission that was a timed mini-game of driving. I played it four or five times and had the exact same dismal result with zero improvement. After playing the game for nearly 10 hours, I still never really got the hang of the driving mechanics and physics. I partly blame the camera, but most of the blame falls on me for just flat out not being comfortable with driving in games. So when I reached Zimos’ first story mission that requires you to pick up four hookers, save them from their opposing gang pimps, and drive back to Zimos’ house within a time limit, I knew I was screwed. Try as I might, I cannot fight off shooting gangsters and make two trips to pick up hookers within the time limit, even on the Easy difficulty setting. And of course, this is not an optional mission; I’m completely stuck until I get through it.

I don’t get why there is a time limit. There wasn’t a time limit when I had to drive around with a tiger in the front seat and make him happy, and that I would think would have a more pressing need for a time limit before the tiger eats you. I hate time limits on mini-games or sequences anyway, so it just added to my overall disappointment.

And yes, I am greatly disappointed that I most likely won’t be finishing SR3. Maybe if I can get someone to come over and finish the mini-game for me, I’ll be able to continue playing. This is where I really wish I lived near more gaming friends.

After I sadly removed the disc, I looked back at my stack of shame that I didn’t pack and decided it was time to go back to Halo 3: ODST. I didn’t like playing the game originally, but I really think it was because I played Halo 2, Halo 3, and then Halo 3: ODST back to back. That was a little overkill, even for this Halo fan, and it was hard to go from a Spartan, wearing MJOLNIR armor to a Orbital Drop Shock Trooper marine, who has had no genetic enhancements and does not wear armor as close to as awesome as the MJOLNIR armor. Since I’ve taken a nearly year-long break, everything that bothered me about it before no longer bothers me.

Once I’m done with this one, maybe I’ll stop playing shooters for a little while and focus on some other genres in my stack of shame, games like Dragon Age: Origins and Skyrim.

Monday Gaming Diary: Texas Travel

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GuacameleeThis past weekend I took my last major trip for most likely a year or so, and I went to the grand ol’ city of Amarillo, Texas to visit one of my best friends and her new baby. When I was telling my podcast cohorts that I would be flying to Amarillo, they were honestly speechless as to why I would fly within my own state. If you don’t live in Texas, I understand it’s difficult to comprehend just how damn big this place is. To give you just a small idea, driving from the Dallas area to Amarillo is about 6-7 hours. From the southern-most tip of Texas, Brownsville, to Amarillo, which even isn’t the most northern city in the Panhandle, is close to 900 miles. From Texarkana to El Paso, east and west Texas, is 850 miles. I live in a ginormous state that has a whole lot of NOTHING in between big cities. So hell no, I wasn’t going to drive to Amarillo.

That said…

I did pack my Vita on my short plane ride. Guacamelee released last week, and while I went back and forth on whether I would get it or not, as soon as I discovered I had $15 of unused PSN cards on my account, it was a no-brainer. I was hesitant about the game because while at PAX East I heard it was a brawler, Twitter was telling me it was also a platformer. Yeah, we all know how that will bring me to a screeching halt. But if I already had the money in there due to gift cards, of course I’ll take the plunge.

The game is pretty. It’s adorable. It’s hilarious. It has platforming jumping techniques that have me absolutely stuck at 30 minutes in.

I haven’t played a real solid platformer in a long, long time, so I’ve forgotten what makes me not like them. Guacamelee has reminded me. If platforming was simple jumping from one area to another, I wouldn’t hate it so much. But they aren’t that simple; platformers introduce jumping techniques that require remembering specific button combinations to execute properly. I have never had fast fingers or great muscle memory for these types of game mechanics, hence why I play so many RPGs, JRPGs, and shooters.

I’m really disappointed too, because I really liked what I played of the game thus far. Sadly, it’s just not for me, and probably won’t ever be.

So on the trip back, I tried out Touch my Katamari, a game I bought at launch for the Vita and have not tried once. I haven’t played a Katamari game since the first one, and I was pleased that not much really has changed. It’s actually a perfect game for the Vita or handheld in how bite-size it really is. I see me playing more of that one when I travel. At least I’ve finally found a Vita exclusive I like. It’s taken me long enough.

Monday Gaming Diary: Where were my warnings about BioShock Infinite?

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bi-propaganda-murder-of-crowsWith all of the laud and praise for Tomb Raider when it released, I became interested in the game as we all know. I haven’t picked it up yet because I’m kind of in the middle of March game releases, but I initially did not pick it up after release because several of my friends told me to reconsider since I’m pregnant.

Let me explain.

The last time I was pregnant, I noticed a distinct revulsion toward gaming violence that I normally did not have. I had just gotten Dead Rising for my new Xbox at that time, and after playing for only 20 minutes, I had to turn it off because I was physically sick. I tried playing it again after having Gabe, but that experience stayed with me and I ended up giving it to a friend. While watching E3 on TV, I once again became physically sick at the sight of the Dead Space trailer. I’ve avoided all things Dead Space since then as well.

So my friends, who know this about me and watched me have problems while playing DmC: Devil May Cry for the same reasons, strongly cautioned me against Tomb Raider. Lara Croft dies in horrific ways, she has graphic things happen to her, so you may want to avoid it until after you have Thing 2. I heard it all. Given the graphic nature of the game I saw at E3 in 2011 and 2012, I saw their points, so decided to avoid it for a little while longer, until I watched a friend play it for a few hours. Yes, there is some stuff I wish I hadn’t seen that probably wouldn’t bother me if I wasn’t pregnant, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had thought.

Then this past Friday, I played BioShock Infinite for the first time. Uh friends? Where were your warnings for this game?

In the three hours I played BI, I saw a man get a spinning hook jabbed in his face, a half-naked man eaten to death by crows, and a woman set herself on fire. All of these things disturbed me far more and affected me far more greatly than anything I saw in the couple of hours of Tomb Raider. After the spinning hook, I had to pause the game and go outside for a minute for fresh air. After the murder by crows, I had to go find a box of Kleenex.

I should have been expecting some horrors, especially after some of the scenes I witnessed from the first BioShock game, but yeah, I wasn’t counting on how it would affect me while pregnant. I can tell you without a doubt I would not be able to handle the first BioShock at all right now, especially with everything surrounding the Little Sisters.

I’m not saying I’m going to quit BioShock Infinite; at least, I won’t unless there’s a boss fight involving fighting an unborn baby (you’re a monster, DmC). I just may not get through the game as quickly as some of my friends have, since I’m a complete wuss right now. Hopefully I’ve seen the worst it has to offer, but knowing BioShock like I do, I bet it’s just getting started.

Monday Gaming Diary: I need to stop playing Professor Layton games

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Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask

After the first couple of Professor Layton games, I’ve noticed I’ve fallen into a pattern with how I play. I really enjoyed the first two Professor Layton games, but after the insanity of the story of the third game, I’ve not carried the kind of devotion I had while playing the first two. With the first two games, I joyfully spent hours playing through all of the puzzles/riddles. I completed all the mini-games, I hunted down every single puzzle available, and I only used hint coins to help me solve them. Only if I was stuck beyond belief would I dare look up an answer via GameFAQs.

As the third game, Professor Layton and the Unwound Future, devolved into utter nonsense for the overarching story, I stopped being so diligent. I burned through the game, only completing puzzles I had to in order to progress, and if I got stuck, screw using hint coins–hellooooooo Game FAQs. And then…the end of the story greatly disappointed me anyway, as it confirmed the series has indeed jumped the shark.

With the fourth game, Professor Layton and the Last Specter, I fell into that same pattern. I was completely devoted to staying honest with the gameplay for the first several hours, and then by the last couple of chapters, I completely gave up being so studious. I just wanted the game to be over, so despite having over 100 hint coins, if I was stuck on a puzzle or just didn’t care to draw or write out a solution, I looked up the answer. And then, when the story was over, the ending disappointed me yet again.

You’d think I’d learn at this point, right? But wait! Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask is the first Professor Layton game for the 3DS! And it’s rumored to be the last one! I’ve come this far, so I might as well play them all!

Sigh.

I played the first 12 hours like a good little student, and then I reached the second to last chapter, where the game switched to a dungeon-style of play that you’d find from The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass. Yeah, it stopped being fun at that point, so GameFAQs was opened and stayed with me through the last two hours of the game. And guess what? The ending disappointed me yet again. What’s worse is that the post-credits cut scene showed without a doubt that this is not the last Professor Layton game. There are more insane shenanigans afoot that Layton can only solve by way of riddles.

It’s time to cut my losses and treasure these games for how great they were in the beginning. Sometimes games don’t need to become a series, and this is one of them. I have friends who just love them for the puzzles, and that’s great and all, but I’m too much of a story-gamer for that. It saddens me a little, but really, playing a game where I give up after just a few hours because I want the game to be over with is not as fun as it sounds.

Ah well. So my 3DS gathers dust for a bit. At least my Vita won’t be as lonely.

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