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Monday Gaming Diary: Playing 3 RPGs at once…how long till I go crazy?

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You're doing what now?

You’re doing what now?

Not sure whose bright idea it was to pit me in three RPGs at once, but that’s where I am. Not only that, but all 3 RPGs couldn’t be more different from one another, in both gameplay and story, and two of them came from the same studio. I’m somehow playing Lightning Returns, Bravely Default, and South Park: The Stick of Truth. The pool is open for when I go insane.

Two are turn based, but they employ different modes of turn-based play. LR claims to be turn based, but the ATB gauge gives it a far more action-RPG feel. In addition, LR has the weirdest ways to level up and learn new skills than I have ever played, and that includes the mind wave slot machine in Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII.

Whenever I sit down to play one, I really do have to relax my mind and run through a quick little tutorial to remind myself how this one works. I don’t have as many issues with Bravely Default, since it implements very typical traditional turn-based play with a slight spin on taking turns. With LR and SP however…wow. So many different commands and so many different concepts between them. I die in the first battle almost each time because I have to use that first fight as a reminder.

And I may be adding Final Fantasy X HD to that mix soon. Maybe I should play that on the Vita so I have four different consoles covered. I can’t be bothered with taking discs in and out of consoles. That’s precious seconds of time lost that I need to devote to these potentially long games!

Monday Gaming Diary: I Love Strategy Guides Way Too Much

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Goddamn timer.

Goddamn timer.

My dedication to strategy guides occasionally goes beyond the prudent call for playing something that I will like or for something that is even good. Right now I’m playing something I absolutely hate but wanted to like, and it hurts me so much that I hate it that I literally have to talk myself into playing it instead of hunting down all of the collectibles in The LEGO Movie Videogame. I am sadly talking about Lightning Returns – Final Fantasy XIII.

After my rage from finishing Final Fantasy XIII-2, I knew the only way I would play the last game (this will be the last game, right?) would be for the sake of strategy guides. Despite how much I despised where the story went in FFXIII-2, I had hopes that the finale would be better. Not sure how, but the story actually got worse.

After watching the intro sequence that left me utterly confused, I opened up the game’s Datalog to fill in the blanks, as I’ve always had to do with FFXIII games. My heart sank. My head bowed. I wanted to drop the controller. Instead, I found myself hoping things would improve. Somehow the story steadily worsened, and I don’t think it’s going to climb the other direction before this travesty is over.

It doesn’t help that I don’t like the gameplay either. I thought Square Enix perfected the paradigm party system in FFXIII-2, but they’ve had to twerk it again to something even more confusing with some FFX-2 flair. On top of that, there’s a timer, one of the three things I loathe in video games.

As I continue to play, all I feel is pity for the poor strategy guide writers who had to pour in hours in the name of strategy guides. I genuinely hope they liked it to ease the pain at least a little.

At least the strategy guide so far is fantastic. It may help prevent me from destroying the world in the game on purpose.

Monday Gaming Diary: Must Stop Delaying Lightning’s Return

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legomovievideogameI fully admit I’m dreading playing Lightning’s Return. I was so angry with how FFXIII-2 ended that I literally threw my PS3 controller on the floor. If it wasn’t for the strategy guide, I would completely ignore that this game exists. Square Enix taking forever to ship me the game really didn’t bother me too much, as I really did have another game to review for Action Trip. It hasn’t helped that a friend has warned me that the game has two features I utterly despise: a timer and stealth. I know I have to play to see how bad these elements are, and the strategy guide should help me overcome them, but ugh, it’s just not gearing me up.

So I buried myself in burning through the story mode of The LEGO Movie Videogame, telling myself I really had to do so for review purposes. (Really bummed there isn’t a guide for one, by the way.) I finished the game on Friday, freeing up the weekend for Lightning, right?

No.

I realized that I am sooooo close to finishing the story portion of LEGO City Undercover: The Chase Begins, which is the 3DS prequel to the Wii U game. Must play and delay the inevitable…

I never did finish The Chase Begins thanks to needy children, but I’m going to be good and not play it tonight. This Lightning Returns strategy guide ain’t going to review itself. Now that I do have the game, I no longer have a real excuse. I should probably play this game with wine nearby, shouldn’t I?

Monday Gaming Diary: Yep, I never learn

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LEGO Movie VideogameI finished A Link Between Worlds last week, thereby effectively removing any barriers between me and seeing if The LEGO Movie Videogame for Vita is as bad as the handheld games for LEGO have been lately. And the verdict is…it’s not as terrible as I thought it would be.

It’s still not a typical LEGO game, which is the most heartbreaking aspect for me. Every level is still set up as a list of challenges and it is possible to get a Game Over screen when you lose all of your hearts. Since most of the levels require manipulating Emmet to avoid objects as he careens down tunnels (so many tunnels), this is facet is the most frustrating. I cannot play this game while feeding the baby at all, because the slightest bump from him will force me to send Emmet to his doom.

The few levels that don’t spin Emmet down a pit of despair have timers for one of the challenges, thereby killing all desire for exploration. Isn’t that half the fun of the LEGO games anyway? The point of it is to get you to replay these levels with different goals in mind. One time you’ll try to burn through it as quickly as possible. The next time you’ll try to hunt down the red bricks and mini-kits. But oh yeah, have fun trying to find those while flying through burning pits and not bumping into anything. The Fail State makes this game the most unbearable.

All that said, the game isn’t as Vita-throwingly frustrating as LEGO Marvel Super Heroes for the Vita was. Yes, I hate repeating this damn vehicle race level for the 10th time, but at least it feels beatable. In addition, the levels aren’t so despicable that I won’t try to conquer all of the challenges to get the gold bricks.

On the whole, it’s disappointing that this isn’t a traditional LEGO game, and I really, really hope this isn’t the format Traveller’s Tales is pushing for future console LEGO games. However, it isn’t as bad as it certainly could be. That’s the highest praise I can really give it.

Monday Gaming Diary: I Never Learn

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legomovievideogameOne of these days, I’m going to learn that the handheld versions of the LEGO games (save for LEGO Star Wars III) are all God-awful. They often incorporate elements that are not fun, could not be considered fun, and people should be fired over. Okay, that last part was a bit too harsh, but I’ve made my point. I keep thinking that the next one will be as great as LEGO Star Wars III was. Surely they’ll go back to that formula. Then I pay my $20-30 and end up weeping in the fetal position.

LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7 incorporated a wizard dueling feature with bosses that was great in theory but horrific and boring in application. LEGO Marvel Super Heroes removed most of the button controls in favor for touch controls, which is awkward to constantly use on anything other than a tablet, and then made it possible to die. If I wanted to actually die in a game, I wouldn’t play a friggin’ LEGO game.  LEGO Batman 2 was the least offensive so far, in that it kept virtually the same formula as the console games, just with different scenes, and added in a monotonous free-for-all battle you could play outside of the story. Outside of trying to get the last few Trophies, I didn’t see the point of playing it for very long.

While I’m mourning that I have no idea when or even if I’ll see The LEGO Movie, I decided to download The LEGO Movie Videogame on my Vita. Seconds after doing so, I wanted to slap myself. Haven’t I learned anything? Why don’t I just wait until I can get out to pick up the game on the PS4 like I know I’ll do anyway?

But then that one nagging thought entered my head…

Maybe this time it won’t be as bad as the others.

Now have I tried out the game to see how it is? Nope, I’ve been too afraid to. If I actually play it, that possibility that it is better is gone forever. So I’ve postponed the inevitable by pointing out I still have A Link Between Worlds to finish, those dungeons aren’t going to clear themselves, oh hey, I got a new accessory–time to go run around, etc. etc. etc.

If you hear some sad sobbing, you’ll know what it is and you can shake your head and tell me I never learn. I know I don’t. I’ll most likely buy the handheld version of LEGO Hobbitt when that releases later this year.

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